The Reason No Woman Should Have Blonde Hair. Ever.
If you don’t live in a bubble, you have probably heard about the great debate over what attire is appropriate for a woman to wear in public in order for a man to not have lustful thoughts. The arguments in this area are mainly comprised of how leggings or yoga pants, being form fitting, or how sleeveless shirts or dresses, that reveal a woman’s shoulders, can cause a man to have lustful thoughts.
From experience, I have one more thing that should be added to the list of lust-invoking thought catalysts: blonde hair. Yes, blonde hair.
Probably the most eye-opening, blatant statement anyone ever made to me was about my blonde hair. When I first became a manager, my superior told me that the guys on my team wouldn’t listen to me because they were too busy wanting to sleep with me. He suggested that in order to be taken seriously, I should dye my hair brown.
What? WHAT?! Why on earth would he say that? What made him think that the men in the office wanted to sleep with me because I had blonde hair? I worked hard to get that promotion. I was good at sales and could teach others. Wouldn’t my team listen to me because I knew what I was doing?
If I dyed my hair brown would that make me smarter? Would it enable me in some way to do my job better? Would brown hair actually somehow make men hear what I had to say? I am ashamed to admit that I almost bought into his comments. I did actually dye my hair darker blonde for a while. I figured that I would try to make my hair darker gradually. My husband didn’t like it though.
Then it occurred to me. Why in the world was I trying to change myself anyways? Why was I the one responsible for the alleged lustful thoughts of male co-workers? So I went back to my regular blonde hair. As a manager, I trained employees in group settings and individually. I took over a team that was not doing well, in fact, dead last in the company, and within a year, we were number one in the company. Believe it or not, I was able to accomplish this even with my blonde hair.
Being totally honest here, I have reasons as to why women should not wear blue silk blouses, white pants, or dress-length trench coats because they invoke lustful thoughts in men. I won’t go into those stories because this is a family-friendly article, you’ll just have to trust me when I say that these wardrobe choices elicited some rather inappropriate, lustful commentary. So let’s add those to the list of banned items as well.
It is not my intention to ridicule anyone’s personal decision to wear jeans rather than leggings for the sake of modesty. I firmly believe that as women, and for me personally, as a Christian, we should dress in a manner that is respectful of our own bodies. If we demand respect, we will get respect, right? As the mother of three boys, I appreciate a movement for women to dress modestly. That teaches our sons that it is not okay for society to sexualize women; similarly, it teaches our daughters that gaining affection from a man should not be based on merely being able to attract attention with provocative attire. We should all be praising modesty, lest we end up with more Miley Cyruses, scantily clad, twerking and grinding with large foam fingers.
But what if the list of “do-not-wear-this” is not enough? I mean, we could probably keep adding to it until almost nothing is deemed appropriate, except maybe for sweatpants and sweatshirts. And even then, there may be some sweatshirt-lusting men out there. So what’s the answer?
The Bible warns men against adultery and lust; likewise, it directs women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety. Each has a responsibility to act in accordance with God’s word.
Men:
“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” Psalm 6:25
“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” I John 2:15-17
Women:
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” I Timothy 2:9-10
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” I Peter 3:3-4
So does this mean that I have to give up leggings, yoga pants, blonde hair, silk blouses, white pants, or any other item that could remotely have the possibility of spurring a lustful thought for a man? No. It is a man’s responsibility to have control over his thoughts and control his desires. It is my responsibility, however, to use good judgment when it comes to my wardrobe choices.
Very well written. I agree with you that its a mans responsibility to have control over his desires. And, as a woman its my responsibility to dress appropriate. I think its ridiculous to think if you stop dressing a certain way a man is going to stop staring at you. I have found that it doesn’t matter what your wearing or the color of your hair. If the opposite sex finds you attractive for some reason they may stare and have lustful thoughts it’s how you react to the situation sometimes that makes a difference.
Thank you for your kind comments. It is ridiculous and it is something that we need to talk about. Even though I am a bit uncomfortable with the topic, it seems that so many people want to point to one specific thing that is the problem and not look at the responsibility that both men and women have.
I love this! I grew up dressing conservatively in a way far beyond anything any of these women currently trending can imagine being required of them. While I respect personal convictions and dressing in a way that doesn’t send the wrong message about your character, I’m wary of anyone who tries to force those on anyone else. I mostly just try to dress in a way that shows respect for myself and my husband, and don’t worry about what other people think.
It is funny to think of how kids dressed when we were growing up. At school the dress code was: no tank tops, no spaghetti straps, shorts couldn’t even be more than 2 inches above the knee… things were definitely different!
Bravo! I love and agree with your perspective about both women and men honoring God.
Thank you!
I can’t believe someone would actually say that to you! I would think that’s discrimination and you are very nice to not have gone to HR about that. Great post and for sticking to your guns.
I love this post. Women and men should control their thoughts and have god,s will in their heart.
Thanks so much!
I love this!!!!
Thanks for stopping by… I’m glad you liked it!
Can I just say I LOVE THIS?? Spoke all my thoughts exactly – it’s just balance and mutual respect! Similar mentalities soon have women wearing burkas..
Shared!
Thank you!
What debate!?! The girl who wrote about not wearing yoga pants was simply indicating in Her blog that she was going to stop wearing them because of a struggle with lust that her husband was having. So instead of lifting up another Christian woman for trying to do something modest, you, along with others, have decided to openly bash her and make rather poor comparisons instead. I get it, maybe it’s not for you…but she wasn’t challenging you or anyone else to not wear yoga pants along with her. She was writing on her blog to her readers, trying to be open about something that she felt convicted of, and then all of a sudden it just blew way out of control with women bashing one another over….yoga pants!!! What ever happened to uplifting our fellow sisters in Christ!?!?
It is unfortunate that you feel this way, in fact, if you had read my entire article, you would see that I praised her in her movement for modestly. I, in no way, have bashed or made fun of anyone. I am for women being modest and men controlling themselves. I simply point out, through my own experience, that other things about a woman appearance can also be the topic of lustful thoughts. I looked at what the Bible has to say about lust and modesty and used that as the basis of my article.
Very well written!
I absolutely love this. One of the most eye opening things for me as a Christian was when I realized that the all-important command to modesty is only mentioned twice in the entire Bible. The second most eye opening thing was that those commands said very little about skin showing. While I’m still modest by many standards, I’ve definitely moved past pushing modesty as something that Christian women need to do. As I’ve written before, it’s better to focus on matters of the heart and Spirit and trust that God will do the convicting as it is needed.
Thank you very much! I’m so glad you liked it!
Why can’t we dress the way we feel? We are female and to have to feel bad because a man likes the way we look is silly. These silly rules and pressures people keep placing on females are nonsense, its not the stone age anymore. Fashion is for having fun not worrying about being un-sexy so you turn off men that’s just silly talk. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone!