It’s Not Just a Clump of Cells: It Is A Baby

It’s Not Just a Clump of Cells: It Is A Baby

It's Not Just a Clump of Cells, It's A Baby // Dealing with the emotions of a baby miscarriage //  Money Savvy Living #miscarriage #baby


In October 1988, President Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “When a child loses his parents, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or a widower. When parents lose a child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS and other causes.”



photo via the web:

photo via the web:


On September 28, 2006, the U.S. House passed a resolution recognizing the movement to make October 15 of each year as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.


photo via the web:

photo via the web:


So how do you deal with the emotions of a baby miscarriage?


While there are many voices out there that will tell you that it’s not a baby, it’s just a clump of cells and it doesn’t matter, I want you to know that your loss does matter.


That sadness that you feel, the tears that you still have years later, the feeling of wondering what that child would be like… it’s real pain.


You aren’t crazy.


You have a right to feel sad.


You did suffer a loss.


The loss of a baby, not a clump of cells.


And you deserve to grieve that loss without being told that your loss was insignificant.


Now, I realize that there are many on the other side of the spectrum that feel that ending a pregnancy isn’t ending a life. And if you are one of those women, I want you to know that you have the right to your opinion and your choice to not be a parent, but don’t you dare tell me that it’s not a baby.



From the moment of conception, the instant of fertilization, your baby’s genes and sex are set. If the sperm has a Y chromosome, your baby will be a boy. If it has an X chromosome, the baby will be a girl. The egg stays in the fallopian tube for about 3 to 4 days. But within 24 hours of being fertilized, it starts dividing fast into many cells. It keeps dividing as it moves slowly through the fallopian tube to the uterus. Its next job is to attach to the lining of uterus. This is called implantation. Some women notice spotting for 1 or 2 days around the time of implantation. The lining of the uterus gets thicker and the cervix is sealed by a plug of mucus. It will stay in place until the baby is ready to be born.


This isn’t my opinion. This isn’t conjecture. It is proven scientific fact. All of this happens before most women even know they are pregnant. It is a baby.


It is a baby, just not a fully formed baby that is ready to live outside of its mother’s womb yet.


fetus stages | It's not just a clump of cells, it's a baby


I realize that it is not going to make you feel good to know that ending a pregnancy through an abortion is more than just getting rid of a clump of cells. It might even make you feel regret or remorse for that decision, knowing that the clump of cells you are getting rid of has all the genetic code necessary to develop into a fully formed person—a baby. Well, I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you because you chose to end your pregnancy. And despite what we are constantly told, that is not an empowering choice for women.


But I didn’t choose to end my pregnancy, you see, I personally lost a baby to a miscarriage in June 2010. I helplessly went through the process of a miscarriage with no choice at all and nothing that I could do to save that “clump of cells” so it could further develop into a baby.


At that point, I already had two beautiful, healthy little boys. I never imagined that my third pregnancy would be anything other than what I had experienced with my first two pregnancies. But it was very different. And for reasons unknown to us and the doctor, the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. We were devastated. As I sit here, even now, I have tears in my eyes thinking about what that baby might have been like today. Why am I sad? I don’t know. I can’t really explain it. I never met this child. But it is still a loss. A loss that 1 in 4 women will experience. And even though we have never met these babies, we still love them.


1 in 4 women


It is a baby. Any woman who has actually been through pregnancy knows that her body changes, you feel that life inside of you move and kick. That’s not a clump of cells that are meaningless. Each of those cells has a specific purpose. Some will continue dividing and form the brain, heart, lungs, kidneys…some will become fingers and toes…each of those cells has a genetic code that defines it as the beginning of a life. It is not a random clump of cells. It. Is. A. Baby.

It's Not Just a Clump of Cells, It's A Baby // Dealing with the emotions of a baby miscarriage //  Money Savvy Living #miscarriage #baby




  • I am so sorry for your loss and completely share your sentiments. I applaud you for bringing awareness to such an important, sensitive, and all too often misunderstood issue. I like that you said it’s not your opinion, it’s SCIENCE.

    • Thanks for stopping by Lindsay! That is what I hope many understand– that there is actual science behind this issue and not just politics or opinions 🙂

  • Thank you so much for sharing!!! I didn’t know personally about this day. But just as you many other hundreds of thousands of women around the world face such a difficult situation as this. As a mother I join this cause because truly they are not just a clump of cells… they are babies!

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. I imagine it can’t be easy to talk about a loss of a child, but it takes a strong person to do so. I applaud you for talking about your story of miscarriage and touching base on the hot topic of abortion.

  • I’m sorry for your loss. I lost a baby in April 2009, at 10 weeks. I usually say that I’m mother of three, but one of them is just not physically here with us. Unfortunately, a lot of other people don’t share the same opinion, so I have basically grieved on my own these past six years. You just made my day by letting me know I’m not alone in this. Thank you!

    • Thank you for the kind words. So sorry for your loss. It is a part of you that sort of feels like it is missing… I totally understand, and no, you are definitely not alone 🙂

  • So sorry for your loss. It’s good that you are able to share your story, since others may be helped by it.

  • Gina,

    I had a miscarriage too (which you know, I think, because you read my post). 🙂

    I was honored to participate in this book, where mothers (and a couple of fathers) share their experiences with loss. If you don’t mind, I’ll put the link here in case someone sees this and thinks the book can help them. I don’t earn any money from my contribution. But if it’s inappropriate, you can delete my comment.

    But I will share your post because when you are in that raw stage of grief, this is such a strengthening post to read.
    Jennie Goutet

  • Gina, I’m so sorry for your loss, hugs to you and your family. You are very strong to share your loss with others and help raise awareness. I never realized how high the numbers were.

  • Gina, I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story to bring awareness to this topic. I agree there should be more awareness. I personally have not suffered a loss, but my mother has and I have several friends and relatives that have. Sending you big hugs!
    Kim @ This Ole Mom

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine having been through that, even though I know that lots of women have. Its great to speak up so women know that they are NOT alone.

  • Thank you for your beautiful defense of life. I am a rainbow baby. And my mom had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn. We treasure the little lives of my siblings I never met.

  • Thank you for standing up for life! I am a mother of 4 beautiful boys, but I have also experienced loss. I am sorry that you experienced it too.

    • It is sad… and it is a loss and so many people don’t recognize that… but somehow it is comforting to be able to talk to others who have gone through the same thing.

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